Saturday, August 20, 2011

Book Review: Accidentally Dead by Dakota Cassidy

Review: Accidentally Dead
Series: Accidental Friends – Book 2
Author: Dakota Cassidy
No of Pages: 339
Release Date: 1 July 2008


It’s a lousy first day on the job for dental assistant Nina Blackman when a patient, loopy from anesthesia, bites her. At least he was cute. But for real drama she can’t beat the next evening. Nina wakes up with a set of razor-sharp fangs, bionic vision, supersonic hearing, and a taste for blood. There must be a good explanation. There is. It’s her patient, Greg Statleon.


A visit to his Long Island castle hardly results in a cure. Greg claims there isn’t one. Unfortunately, Nina isn’t wild about her lifestyle change – or the danger that goes along with it. She’s determined to prove this infuriating vampire wrong. It’s a shame he’s so irresistible. It’s a bigger shame that he’s dead. On the other hand, they’re perfect for each other – if Nina‘s willing to commit to one man for eternity.

My Thoughts:

Accidentally Dead was very lucky it didn’t find a home on the DNF pile it started so bad.

Nina was accidentally bitten by a vampire when he went to the dentist to get his tooth fixed. After rejecting any sort of notion that she will never be human again and trying to find a way to turn back she not only has to find a possibly evil vampire who could help her, but she also needs to content with her growing feelings for her maker.

Accidentally Dead was basically a replica of The Accidental Werewolf only with vampires. Girl gets bitten by something supernatural in under far-fetched circumstances, girl rejects what she has been turned into, girl falls for supernatural that turned her and accepts her new life.

Now it’s probably lucky that I can barely remember what happened in The Accidental Werewolf  apart from the general gist of the story because I was pretty sure I liked Nina in that story. Now? Not so much. Nina was a vile potty-mouthed idiot who developed a crazy notion that Greg was evil and didn’t want to give her humanity back so he could control her for his evil plan to take over the world.

But it wasn’t really Nina or any of the other characters I had a problem with. It was the whole premise of this book and the way it was written.

I don’t really want to know what Cassidy’s word document looked like but it must have looked like an ode to Christmas with all of the red and green lighting up the page. Words like “hawt” “dayum” and “gawd” marred every page. Swear words were as frequent as the word “the” and yet halfway through everyone decided to change their vocabularies (especially Nina) to incorporate words like “Flip-off” and “B-word”. If you’re going to swear, at least be consistent with it.

The whole premise of Accidentally Dead though goes against not only normal vampire lore, but the books actual lore. Greg’s tooth was hurting, but no one ever finds out why he can’t heal himself or why there are no late night dentists closer than an hour away from his home. Then we also go back to stupid Twilight vampire logic that one bite makes a vampire, which is wrong on so many levels, because how would normal not blood baggie drinking evil vampires feed without turning everyone they feed from? I’m pretty sure we didn’t have packaged blood from willing donors five hundred years ago.

Then we have the stupidity of the 500 year old dusting which states that if you don’t mate with another vampire before you turn five hundred you die – this rule by the way has been around since before the beginning of time according to vampires. So of course Greg who has never turned another vampire must either mate with an evil chick no one likes or Nina who he turned a few weeks ago and barely knows, or die. I really want to see this relationship 100 years down the track.

Like I said, it’s not so much the characters themselves I have a problem with (they can’t help how they’re written) but the plot driving the story is pathetic. I don’t mind swearing, I do mind the butchering of the English language and I am surprised I finished this book, although it may come down to a mild case of OCD, but I will definitely not be continuing on with this series.

Others in this series:
The Accidental Werewolf
The Accidental Human
Accidentally Demonic
Accidentally Catty


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